the very first one

It was around sunset, and the water glistened like melted silver with no ending in sight. The branches of the willow trees swayed with the soft breeze that is ever so present in Canadian summer evenings. The garden city does sound beautiful. But I never saw that beauty until now…
As I sat upon a bench that was so perfectly placed to take this all in, I cried. I didn’t really understand why at the time. I didn’t know why I cried most nights. I had, in my mind, no reason to be upset, no real “struggles.” But, the tears came like waves regardless, for months, for years after. You cannot tame the sea.

When I think of that night, I know in my heart that it was different. I believe that at that moment, I had someone looking out for me even if I didn’t know them – yet.
Out of nowhere, and I mean nowhere, someone stood in front of me. His sunkissed skin glowed with all the colours that surrounded us, but I could not see his face. The locks of hair on top of his head looked golden. It was almost as if he embodied every element of our surroundings. His presence felt grounding and serene. We were the only people in this room that we created.
“what do you see?” this man asked.
I was so consumed by my emotions. So curious about who he was and why he chose to speak with me right at that moment. It could have possibly been a coincidence that he appeared before me, but I decided to answer anyway.

“I see a beautiful sunset,” I said, smiling and pretending to be ok, as I was so used to doing for so long.
He took a deep breath as he continued looking out to the water.
“you know what I like about sunsets?…
even when it goes down and gets dark, you know that it is only a few hours until it comes back up.”

I never saw his face, just the silhouette of what should have been there. When I think back, I think this spirit, this entity… this light…. well, they came to me just as they were. His voice was soft, and his words held me in their embrace. It was calling me home. I felt a wave of calmness brush over me. I had forgotten what that feeling was like.
I don’t know if you were real, for I have considered you an angel ever since. But if you are reading this, You saved my life that night. Thank you, friend.

I tried to write down these stories time and time again but never really knew where to start. Was it going to be a novel? If it was, I struggled to create a fantasy world of my own. You see, these stories were so much more than fantasy, so much more than escapism… the idea of a novel allowed me to gather my thoughts, but the expression of it had to be authentic.

I always loved to help, and I practiced that in many different ways in my life; whether it be by having a simple conversation with a stranger who needed it, volunteering with organizations that were near and dear to me, and by being a friend to anyone I crossed paths with. As I began to notice the things that brought joy and fulfillment into my own life, I realized that my stories became a way to share my own struggles and ultimately help others who may be feeling the same way.
So then came the big question: Will I finally use my voice and put this into existence? Or will I fall back to staying silent, always wondering about what could have been?
It’s a feeling that is all too familiar at this point in my life. So the choice was simple. You are, after all, reading this today.

The following posts will be honest and open about all that I have learned along the way of falling back in love with every breath our universe takes, with every form we take in this life and the next. I wish to craft a place where people can come together, read, share and grow as a greater whole. There is one thing in common with most, if not all, of these collective stories. At the very core of each story lies a truth about us as a human species.

We all crave connection with someone and understanding with something greater than ourselves. By exploring these secrets, I have found that.
It somehow makes our already so dense reality seem a little bit more liberating. But, words are just words if not accompanied by the songs of its poet. You, yourself, are a poet alongside me. Perhaps I offer a unique perspective if you find yourself resonating with something I share. Maybe I won’t. Regardless, I encourage you to allow yourself to feel, allow yourself to think, and allow yourself to flow.

You will always be safe here…

So may it be.